In a Filipino culture characterised by close-knit family ties, newly-wed couples moving out to get your own home might not be that simple and easy.
In western culture, children usually depart from the household at the age of 18. But in the Philippines, the familial attachment lasts until one gets married. In some cases, married couples still live with their in-laws for many reasons; but that’s for another feature article. 🙂
What we’d like to share with you today is – if you’re already in that situation, how do you manage to leave your in-laws’ house in the most courteous way possible where the elderly won’t feel offended.
6 Signs It’s Time for Couples to Get Their Own Home
Couples moving in together independently as husband & wife is one of the biggest decisions you’ll ever make. In addition to leaving your in-laws, you’d also have to consider if you yourselves – are ready. When is the right time? Property website Lamudi Philippines shares with us these six sure signs:
- You’re Past the Honeymoon Phase
Parents of newly weds (whether on the male or female side) sometimes requests their children to stay with them for a while after marriage; specially for the mama’s boy or the daddy’s girl.
This is not so much of a bad idea after all. Moving out on your own as a couple might need some time like finding the right location to rent a condominium or buy a new home.
You’d still have to fill up the new house with appliances and other things to consider – so you’d most probably find yourselves in either of your parent’s house for the first few months after the honeymoon.
In contrast to the situation above, not all relationships with the in-laws are ideal. Most actually don’t work well.
Unsurprisingly, this expectation is actually quite natural; as the parents of your partner will have certain levels of expectations from you for their child – in many different aspects of life.
And when that is not met, friction and disagreement arise. During times when this cannot be amicably settled, getting your own place and moving-in together as an independent couple is a must.
Getting your own place is actually a practical move. You are starting a fresh new life and you would certainly consider the best place, in terms of work distance, environment, and time.
Moving-in together just makes sense and will seem like the next natural step.
- Know How to Kiss-&-Make-Up Well
I know, it sounds cheesy. But a lot of couples get into a fit because they have not yet adjusted to each other’s character, habits, routines, quirks, and imperfections!
Every one of us has quirks. We just put our best foot forward at the beginning of the relationship so our partners won’t see our peculiar behavior.
One will always have something that may irritate the other. And unless you have accepted your partner for everything he/she is, then no matter how trivial the eccentricity, the irritation may escalate. It would be good to have your in-laws by your side for advise and support.
Stay together long enough so you can adjust to each other. By the time you move in together independently, you’ll enjoy the experience of each other’s idiosyncrasies.
Figure out how to easily settle misunderstandings, then you won’t have to worry about having disagreements. You’ll get over them, stay together, and keep a happy home.
It’s about knowing what annoys you about them, but still accepting and loving them anyway.
- You’re Both Financially Ready
Let’s get the point across directly – you need money to move-in together as an independent couple.
Options may include renting or buying a condominium or a house. This can dry up your savings so this is something both of you have to prepare for.
And once you’re done with that phase, you move on to the next – living in the house / condo.
For couples who both work, you might agree on splitting the bills. There’s electricity, gas, and groceries, just to name a few. On the other hand, a working man and a housewife might have another set-up.
- You’ve Seriously Talked About It
Once you move in together, agree on each other’s responsibilities.
Major changes in lifestyle and decision-making are also in order. There are also minor rules you need to establish so everything stays peaceful. For example, how often can you have close friends over?
Discussing these lets you set your expectations for each other, allowing yourselves to avoid getting in over your heads when you live together and put your relationship at risk.
Lamudi’s #YourHeartIsHome Campaign
Are you one of those couples who feel it’s time to move-out from their in-laws and move-in to their own condominium or rent a house? Have you checked all these six signs?
If your answer is yes, then it’s time to join Lamudi Philippines’ #YourHeartIsHome Campaign! Share your love story and tell us why you and your loved one deserve to live in your dream condo rent-free for 6 months here: https://goo.gl/1KX4rK.